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Sunday, September 9, 2007

Stupid Questions With Smart Answers

STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS:
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BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy. .
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GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
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GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
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GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple.
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GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
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BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
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BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
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WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
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Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
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Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"
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My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
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Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
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Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".
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Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
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Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
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Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
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Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".
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Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."

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