Mr.Bartender

At a bar in New York, the man to Ah Beng's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE" and his companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE".

The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, "AND YOU, SIR ?"

Ah Beng replies : "Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED lah"

Jigsaw Puzzle

After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite some time, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend.

"It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT", Ah Beng brags.

"FIVE MONTHS ? THAT'S TOO LONG", the friend exclaims.

"YOU ARE A FOOL." Ah Beng replies, "SEE THIS BOX, IT IS WRITTEN FOR 4-7 YRS".

Time Difference

Ah Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.

Ah Beng: "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN Taipei AND LAS VEGAS ?"

Operator: "JUST A MINUTE..."

Ah Beng : "THANK YOU lah" AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.

Phone CallS

Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor.

The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring, lah - but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear, lah"

"Oh dear !" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.

"But .. what happened to the other ear ?"

Ah Beng answered : "That stupid dumbo called back, lah !!!!"

Help

Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it.

When he encountered some problems.

He decide to use the 'Help' command after some tries.

Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer retailer for support.

Ah Beng : "I press the 'F1' key for help lah, but it's been over half an hour and still nobody come
and help me Lah ?!"

911

Why can't Ah Beng dial 911?
Because he can't find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone.

Say Cheese!!!

Ah Beng always smiles during lightning storms because he thinks his picture is being taken.

Photocopy

After taking photocopies of documents, Ah Beng always compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.

Thermos Flask

Ah Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object.


Ah Beng : "What is that shiny object ?"

Salesgirl : "That is a thermos flask."

Ah Beng : "What does it do ?"

Salesgirl : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"

Ah Beng : "I'll buy it"

The next day, Ah Beng goes to work with his thermo flask.


Boss : "What is that shiny object ?"

Ah Beng : "It's a thermos flask."

Boss : "What does it do ?"

Ah Beng : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."

Boss : "What do you have in it !?"

Ah Beng : "Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice cream"

Job Application

Ah Beng is filling up an application form for a job.

He supplied the information for the columns on Name, Age,Address etc.

Then he comes to column on "Salary Expected", but he is not sure of the question.

After much thought, he writes " Yes "

TV Set

Ah Beng wants to buy a TV set.

He goes to a shop.

Ah Beng : "Do you have color TV ?"
Salesgirl : "Yes !"
Ah Beng : "Give me a green one, please "

Movie

AH BENG the Crazy Singaporean.

Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?

Because below 18 not allowed Lah !