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Monday, July 23, 2007

Things Aren't Always As They Appear

A WOMEN was flying from Seattle to San Francisco. Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes.
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Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind. The man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her Seeing Eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight.
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He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and calling her by name, said, "Kathy, we are in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?" The blind lady replied, "No thanks, but maybe my dog would like to stretch his legs."
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Picture this:
All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Seeing Eye dog!
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The pilot was even wearing sunglasses. People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!
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True story....
Have a great day and remember...
THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS AS THEY APPEAR...

Blind Man

There is a naked woman in the shower, she hears a knock at the door
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"Who is it?"
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"Blind man" is the reply
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"OK, come on in then"
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"Nice boobs, where do you want your blinds"

The Artist

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.
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"I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death.
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When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."
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"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
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"The guy was your doctor."

Freshman VS Senior

A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game, took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.
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"You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one." The student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. "We, the young people of today, grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, men walking on the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars. We have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing and...," pausing to take another drink of beer.
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The Senior took advantage of the break in the student's litany and said, "You're right, son. We didn't have those things when we were young ........so we invented them. Now, you arrogant little fart, what are you doing for the next generation?"
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The applause was resounding.. I love senior citizens.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Mother of six, Father of Four???

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself that he starts callinghis wife "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party.
The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.
He shouts at the top of his voice, 'Shall we go home now Mother of Six?"
His wife, finally fed up with her husband, shouts back, "Anytime you're ready,
Father of Four!"

What's the time?

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